Codependent No More
Hazelden, 1987
This is the book that put the word codependency on the lips of people and put Beattie on the map as a writer.
“Codependency is all about the subtle and sometimes overt ways we make ourselves miserable and let other people make us crazy,” Beattie says. “I knew something was ruining my life way back then in the late seventies and early eighties but I didn’t know what it was. Discovering my codependency issues, and how to heal from them, was like discovering fire.”
Now, sixteen years after Codependent No More was originally published, an average of 15,000 people a month are still buying this book and discovering that fire in their lives.
The book is simply written, beginning with many personal stories of how codependency issues affect lives in a variety of ways – from feeling overly responsible for an alcoholic parent, to feeling controlled by a spouse or child, to the morass of feelings and lack of energy caused by overcaring for the people around us and not caring enough – and in the right ways – for ourselves.
The book is a primer read by people from age 15 through 85 on what it means to take responsibility for, and take care of, themselves. Beattie explains concepts like setting boundaries, dealing with manipulation, feeling feelings, and detachment then takes it one step further. She empowers readers to believe that they really can do these things.
“I still get a kick out of it when someone comes up to me and says they just read this book for the first time and it’s given them a whole new life,” Beattie says. “It’s fun to watch people discover fire.”
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